Redefining Relationship

"Life is not always about yourself. Look around closely and you'll realize that you are surrounded with many precious people and things. Don't take them for granted." 

You were standing there, while the doctor looked after mom. After a couple minutes, she asked you to come along with her outside the ward.  

"Jangan menggadaikan waktu yang ada untuk sesuatu yang tidak pasti. Selagi ada waktu, manfaatkan momen ini untuk mengasihi dan menyayangi mama, doakan. Jangan putus, pokoknya selalu berdoa yang terbaik," said the doctor.

The doctor left after saying that, and I still contemplate on what the doctor just said. 

"Menggadaikan waktu untuk sesuatu yang uncertain means risking all the time you have for something uncertain. And in the midst of uncertainty, I feel like Allah is The Only One that can understand and listen to me, so I want to make sure that we all are in a state that is pleasing to Allah " 

Now you remember, a couple month ago, a doctor sent a short message that said: "Dokter bisa mengobati, tapi hanya Allah yang bisa menyembuhkan."

This applies too, when you want something so badly, you may worked so hard to get it, but The Only One who decides whether you'll get it or not is Allah. 

Now, it's becoming more clear. Your ambition, your hope, your resentment, all of these were rooted from your inability to let go things that haunted you in the middle of the night. You think you are doing your best that you can, for yourself, and for the people around you. But, no. The truth is, you only think of yourself.  Your attachment with the people and things in this world is too much. You are hoping too much on people, when you should've put your hope and trust in Allah. So what happens next when you put too much hope on people? Disappointment, trust issues, betrayal, poor boundaries, and worst case, losing yourself.

The basic foundation in a human relationship is respect. And The Qur'an mentioned the importance of respect in building a connection and relationship. If we look at Surah Luqman, there are three important aspects regarding human relationship, and these are :

1. Relationship with Allah

2. Relationship with parents

3. Relationship with other people

The relationship with Allah is the most important relationship for a human, because Allah is our creator and He knows best what within us (our minds, heart, intention), more than we know about ourself. And being grateful to Allah is a way to connect and build relationship with Him.

"Indeed, We blessed Luqmân with wisdom, ˹saying˺, “Be grateful to Allah, for whoever is grateful, it is only for their own good. And whoever is ungrateful, then surely Allah is Self-Sufficient, Praiseworthy." - (QS. 31:12)

I've always been interested in Surah Luqman since last year, and just a couple days ago I gain more insights about Surah Luqman and how this surah shed light on the basic principle of human relationship and how to build a good connection and relationship with Allah and the people in your life. What I love about this Surah is that it clearly emphasize the importance of respecting your parents, especially your mother.

"And We have commanded people to ˹honour˺ their parents. Their mothers bore them through hardship upon hardship, and their weaning takes two years. So be grateful to Me and your parents. To Me is the final return."  (QS. 31: 14)

Surah Luqman also mentioned the one thing that can destroy any kind of relationship, and that is : arrogance.

Arrogance has always been associated with Iblis and Syaitan. Because ever since Allah created Prophet Adam, iblis feels they are "more better" than humans, and they looked down on human. And Allah doesn't like this. 

“And do not turn your nose up to people, nor walk pridefully upon the earth. Surely Allah does not like whoever is arrogant, boastful." (QS 31:18)

We, human also definitely don't like to be around with people who are arrogant, because no one wants to be belittled, looked down, and discarded. And being around arrogant people feels like no matter how hard we try to build the connection them, it is just not there, and it feels as if we're never enough. And that is mentally exhausting. So, if you come across these arrogant people, please remember that there are still kind-hearted and caring people out there who would not look down on you, instead they will appreciate and respect you just by your existence.  

Lastly, I'd like to remind myself again that, life is not always about yourself. It's how you appreciate the existence of the people around you and cherish every moments with your loved ones. So, please be kind, and be careful from any sort of arrogance in this life.