The First Broken Heart of An Eight Year Old Kid

You came back again after several times looking at that picture inside the "Year 2000" diary book. You don't know what makes you attracted to that picture, but somehow, everything about that picture seems perfect and fine. It feels like you can't wait to move out from this city where you grow up. Everyday you assured yourself by saying,

"Just a few days left and I'll surely going to meet you."

"I'll definitely going to see you, no matter what"

Those words became a promise that you keep deep inside. And it's all because you believe that picture "belongs to you." 

You know how silly it is if you think about it right now, but you were just eight at that time. A 3rd grader, with no knowledge or experience of what kind of world this is, and how the world works. All you knew was going to school, studying, storybooks, playing hide and seek, homework, and Doraemon. People told you that you should totally enjoy your life, playing and having fun with your friends at this age. So you followed what they say, and enjoy your life all out to the point where there's no single day of sadness at that time. 

"To be honest, I liked and enjoyed everything here, the places, the weather, and the people. Even though there's no fancy shopping malls, modern skyscrapers, or those popular fast food restaurants, it doesn't matter to me at all. Even when that day almost reached 50 degrees outside and the electricity went off, even when there's no smart phones or any fancy gadgets, everything feels "enough" just to keep going on at that time," you said.

But, that picture changed everything. With just a glance, that picture, in it's own way, "convinced" you that you should pursue it. As if it's saying that you'll be much more happier only if you leave everything here behind and pursue this "real happiness."

So you believed and leave everything behind to pursue it. Now, you are standing in this place where you first saw that picture on the "Year 2000" diary book. Yes, the exact same scenery where the picture shown in the diary book is this, the heart of J-City. The place in which for the first time you saw it in that diary book, you knew this is the place where you belong. A city full dazzling lights, modern skyscraper, fancy shopping malls, and whatsoever "modern" and "advanced" things are packed in. This is what you've been waiting for all your life, because you believed this is the "real place," the "real home" where you belong to and that's what everyone have been saying to me: you belong to this place.

So here you are, standing right in the middle, on the heart of J-City, with feelings that only a third grader could understand. That night, there are barely stars seen on the sky. Air pollution from the congestion on the streets that spread since morning still left it's residue. Streetlights shines brightly all over the sidewalk, as if there's no time for rest for anyone here. That night you stared blankly on the modern skyscraper, a view you just saw for the first time in your life. You turn right, and a wind blew over. Not the same wind with the place you've lived before, because now it's more humid, but you tried to cope up with all these unfamiliarity. So you look around once again, and just when you tilt your head upward and took a glance on the streetlight, suddenly, the bright lights deluded you. It shines so bright that you can't see clearly. But after a few seconds, you started to see things more clearly. You know where you are standing and after several steps, you know where you're heading to. And along the way, you will not allow those dazzling lights deludes you. And even when they deludes you, it's okay, you just need a clear vision to walk and make sure that there is still "that place" where we truly belong, and it's not in this city, and not in this world.