Irreconcilable

"I'd rather be someone difficult, than being someone insignificant."

This is what Mia, my childhood friend, told me a couple days after her break up with her long-term boyfriend. Ever since our first encounter 23 years ago, I knew Mia has always been that kind-hearted and caring girl, whose willing to give her time and effort to help the people around her. We first met in kindergarten and I was always that terribly-nervous-type of kid during first day of school, but strangely that day didn't feel as creepy as I thought, because that is the day I first met her. Her presence can swayed the cold winter wind just with her simple warm smile. I still remember how she first walked towards me and grab my hand. 

"Come on, let's play hide and seek!" she said.  

I was confused, but she successfully made my day better. We spent most of our time together; elementary, junior, high school and university, though we choose different major in university. She chose history, while I chose Korean literature. But we still spare some time in between to meet and talk about our life and what happened so far. She was that ambitious and active type of girl yet at the same time I never saw her studying so hard. She's the happy-go-lucky type of woman who would voluntarily speak up in front of the seniors, and be the leader in every student organization. And me? I am completely her contrary. But despite her full packed schedule, she would ask where am I and stayed there beside me until I finished done with my assignments. Mia was always there.

Now, I'm here for her. Not because a guy just broked her heart. It's because I'm afraid that she might turn into a person she's not used to be. She lifted her head up and stared emptily towards the blue cloud. Her eyes filled with questions and her heart filled with heaviness. She haven't said anything about her break up but I already knew, something is off.

"I'd rather be someone difficult than be someone who's insignificant," she said, unexpectedly.

"All these years, I've always tried to make things easier. I always thought that if we can just trust each other, accept each other just for the way we are and find a way to communicate better, I can make the path ahead easier and things will eventually work out."

"But then?" I asked 

"I can't. Because you can't force your heart to keep on accepting the things that consumes you," she said.  

"You absolutely can't fool your heart, no matter how you strongly belief that you can accept it," she said.

And this is exactly what I've been waiting for. I knew she who would stand up for herself. So I said to her, 

"You're not the type who would let someone drag your life around and I know you can never reconcile with that person who doesn't even know how precious your smile is."

"You have no idea, how your presence can change other people's sad gloomy day, into a bright and colorful one. You never know how your smile can make their day a little bearable. You never know, that you, just being yourself, and not being what they expected you to be or being someone to be compared with, is already enough for us!" I said to her. 

"Just remember, you have Allah whose always there beside you, you have your family and friends who are waiting for your presence and laugh, and you have me that got your back. We don't want to see you crumbling down again, because it hurts us. It's time to finally take the courage and stand up for yourself. Don't ever forget that, you are enough for us."