For Those Left Behind

"The eyes tear, the heart is filled with grief. We miss you, but we won't allow our tongue to say anything except that which pleases Allah SWT" - (Hadith; Sahih Al-Bukhari 1303)

I barely look at my phone for a couple of month, because I have no time to reply a chat nor scroll over the group chats. It was January 2022 that month and I still remember that morning we were on our way to the hospital. Silence filled all over the passenger seats. For a minute, I glanced at the right side of the street and saw a mural art with a message written : "Ayo, semangat!" As if they know, that is what I need, and what all the accompaniers in this world need.

Flashback two months earlier, 18 November 2021. I was standing and waiting in front of the MRI room. The doctor told me to have a lunch first since it will took quite a time. But, no, I feel like I can't stay far from mom, in case she needs me, in case she finished the MRI and I wasn't there, in case she was looking for me. We were always together. Mom always calls me when she feels like I'm far away from her. And me too, I always call mom when I need her, or when I want to share my random story today. It feels like, mom was always there. So when mom left us, questions like these keep hanging on my mind: 

"Where to from now?"

"All those plans were shattered, where do I go?"

"What's going to happen?"

And all of these are not easy. 

After a tragedy, you can be a little bit lost and you need guidance. When you have a connection to Qur'an all your life, the Qur'an is the first place you'll go to. It just feels like the Qur'an can "read" you. I personally found support in reading Qur'an especially Surat Yusuf. There is something profound in understanding the story of prophet Yusuf and how his father, prophet Yaqub feels extreme sadness when he was separated with his son, prophet Yusuf. Some people said that, when you lose your loved ones, you shouldn't be sad for too long. If you are too sad, you're going against Allah's qadr. Somehow this create sort of a "guilt of sadness" feeling. But Prophet Yaqub felt an intense grief that his eyes went white because he missed his son so much. Yet Prophet Yaqub still practiced a "beautiful patience" a type of patience where you direct all you pain and inner feeling only towards Allah SWT.

Surat Yusuf also highlights the importance of patience. Despite all the trials that Prophet Yusuf endured, he keep on going on and stayed patience. And eventually, Allah SWT turns everything around. In the end of the story of prophet Yusuf, there is : victory, triumph, happiness, family reunites together, and enemy become friends. So, the main point here is how we should practice "beautiful patience" and how we should never lose hope in Allah SWT. May Allah give you the strength and patience to keep going..